It's all about me!

Painting by Harald Sohlberg

"Our selfishness knows no bounds.  In more or less naïve self-love we look upon everything in our environment with which we come in contact as our agencies, as things which exist for our sakes, something for us to make use of and utilize to our own advantage. We think and act as though everything, inanimate things, plants, animals, human beings, even our own souls, were created for the purpose of bringing gratification to our selfish desires.

And we make no exception of God.

As soon as we encounter him, we immediately look upon him as another means of gaining our own ends. Natural persons in their relation to God have this one purpose more or less consciously in mind: How can I, in the best way, make use of God for my own personal advantage? How can I make him serve me best now, in the future and throughout all eternity?

Natural persons look upon prayer, too, in this light. How can I make use of prayer to the greatest possible advantage for myself? This is the reason why the natural person seldom finds that it pays to pray regularly to God. It requires too much effort, takes too much time and is on the whole impractical, for the simple reason that one even forgets to pray.

But when the same person gets into trouble in one form or another and cannot help themselves or get help from anybody else, then they think that it might pay to pray to God. They then pray to him incessantly, often crying aloud in their distress.

And when God does not put himself at their disposal immediately and answer them, they are not only surprised, but disappointed and offended, deeply offended.

Why should there be a God, if he is not at the disposal of those who need him? That God should exist for any purpose then to satisfy people's selfish desires  does not even occur to such people.

Many are they after an experience of this kind are forever done with prayer. When you cannot get what you ask for, and in times of great need even ask for imploringly, why should you pray?"       

from Prayer by Ole Hallesby
 

The above passage by Norwegian theologian, Ole Hallesby, caused me to pause.  Throughout the day, how often do I consciously or unconsciously try to manipulate other people and things, let alone God, for my own personal advantage?  Even with such a lofty endeavor as praying, I often loom big, making God small.  Not your will, O Lord, but my will be done!