Painting by Norman Rockwell
I recently read a promotional blurb on a book that got me a little riled up. It goes something like this: "...when the credits roll in your life, are people going to think your story sucked? If there’s any chance of that happening, read this book and start living a better story."
Seriously? In the first place, when the credits roll in my life, what other people think about it, whether it sucked or not, will be the least of my concerns. And why are there people standing around judging if other people's lives sucked (such a grating word, by the way) in the first place? Are they not busy enough living and appreciating their own lives?
I did go on to read the book as it was recommended to me, on a loan, I might add. The book, thankfully, is less arrogant and less condescending than the promotion. The author, a single man in his 40s, gave some good insights, but was eschewed towards promoting life's "better stories" as introducing inciting incidences like biking across the country, starting a mentoring program, hiking the Inca trail in Peru, inviting world leaders into your home, etc.
That is all very exciting and commendable. And I know people who live such intriguing lives and I do find their stories appealing and exciting. Maybe I am just not one to be impressed with showiness in lifestyle or personality for at the end of the day, the people whose life stories I find the most compelling are the ones who have very "uninteresting" stories to tell. They will never be recognized for starting any programs, for dining with world leaders, for living and traveling to remote locales, or for writing books telling others how to live their lives...They just live their quiet lives filled with love for what they do and especially for the people who fill their lives. They do not feel the need to feed their lives with inciting incidences but instead make their lot as "exciting" as possible. They are the ones who wake up in the morning, content with their lot: grateful to go to work; hold their babies; call their loved ones; write an encouraging note; pray; contribute time and money without ever being recognized by anyone, let alone world leaders; clean bathrooms; give a smile; listen; hold a hand; cook a meal, etc.
I think we can all start "living a better story" right where we are now by filling our very ordinary days with love and gratitude for what we do have instead of looking for the next inciting incidence. If we can't appreciate the work we have at hand and love the people who now fill our lives, what makes us think that we will enjoy drilling for water in Africa or loving the destitute in Indonesia? We will carry the same discontent wherever we go and to whomever who meet. If you can't be generous, love and sacrifice for your family and friends at hand, you will not be able to do so with strangers in faraway lands.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against starting mentoring programs or biking across America, but pursuing such endeavors does no equate to living a better story than living a seemingly "mundane" life with a grateful attitude and loving the people around you. Not many of us have such privileged lives that we can take time off from our responsibilities to hike the Inca trail
I want to salute my octogenarian friend Lois who spent the past 50 years of her life teaching piano, loving and encouraging the students who sat at her piano bench; my other octogenarian friend Catherine whose eyesight though dim spends her day praying fervently for her family and friends; for my mailman in Winchester who always delivered our mail with a smile (and once in a Santa suit); for my daughter's school bus driver Mr. Ephraim in Wilton who made sure she was never let off the bus unless we were at the driveway to collect her; to my friends who mentor one-on-one, teach bible studies to the blind, make the effort to encourage a friend, take in an ailing friend, love their families...all very ordinary people, living very ordinary lives but with so much love for what they do and the people they do it for.
I Corinthians 13: 1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.
