Jesus is Dead

Descent from the Cross by Van der Weyden

Jesus is dead. His body is wrapped up in linen cloth saturated with spices and ointment, buried in the tomb of Joseph, the Arimathean. His family, friends, and followers weep.

My question to us this Holy Saturday is -- what if he remained dead and buried? What if he's just another dead Jewish prophet, long forgotten in history? Leaving behind not a timeless, far-reaching global legacy, but a small group of disillusioned, frightened followers cowered in their hiding places?

What would your world, your community, your family, your life be like if Jesus remained dead, on the metanarrative and personal level? Let's allow our imagination take us there in a vivid way.

It'll be worthwhile for all of us, atheists and people of faith, to reflect on this today, and to revisit it every Saturday after Good Friday and before Resurrection Sunday -- imagining our life in a world with a dead and buried Jesus with none of his resurrected legacy.

Now there was a man named Joseph, from the Jewish town of Arimathea. He was a member of the council, a good and righteous man, who had not consented to their decision and action; and he was looking for the kingdom of God. This man went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then he took it down and wrapped it in a linen shroud and laid him in a tomb cut in stone, where no one had ever yet been laid. It was the day of Preparation, and the Sabbath was beginning. The women who had come with him from Galilee followed and saw the tomb and how his body was laid. Then they returned and prepared spices and ointments. On the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment.   

Luke 23:50-56

Sunday Thoughts

Stormy Sea Breaking on a Shore by JMW Turner (1845)

This is the third Sunday of being sheltered-in-place here in Chicago. A cold, blustery, overcast day in March. I am finding Sunday to be the best day of the week for me during this time of lockdown. Perhaps it's because it is the Lord's Day. Not that the rest of the days of the week do not belong to God, but that it is the day set aside for us to rest in our resurrected Lord Jesus whose love and power remain with us to this day. This rest in him and his promises is especially needed during this Covid-19 pandemic. I need to take a break from the constant barrage of newsfeed, to find mental and emotional rest in casting my anxieties and cares on the Lord of the Sabbath. I need to take time to refocus, to take in his light and his calm in order to replenish the light that has dimmed within me through the week and to still my growing anxious heart. 

Now that most church services are streamed online, I am finding solace participating in  worship at some of my favorite churches; and in the process, finding connection and belonging that transcends distance and time zones. Covid-19 has ironically made church much more available to those who might not otherwise darken the door of a physical church. 

How we "do church" has drastically changed in the past weeks, as has how we "do life". Tragic in so many ways, but hopeful in others. But "do" we must, with church as with life. Doing it within our new confines yet somehow making it count far beyond our new limitations. I am inspired by the remarkable ingenuity, creativity, energy, and determination of people across the world, to not only make the best of our situation with the coronavirus running amok,  but also to defy the devastation that Covid-19 has wrought. As the virus seeks to decimate our health, economy, and communal bonds, we need to stay hopeful, for the alternative is despair. 

Wherein lies your hope?

Invisible and lethal is covid-19, invisible and powerful is our God. 

And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger.  And they went and woke [Jesus], saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm.  He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”

Luke 8:24-25 

Word for 2020!

Sunrise in Lincoln Park

Hope is my word for 2020! Having a word for the year is a new undertaking for me. Something that I was reluctant to take up when my friend Darlene first suggested it to me. How can one little word interest and impact me for a whole year?

But as it is, in these early days of January, since its inception in my head, that one minuscule word "hope" has helped shape the moments of my day. Life is after all lived in increments of moments. I'm not saying that I'm always aware of the word, but having adopted it, like an underground water channel to shrubbery, it's been giving verdancy to my day,  

Hope helps me start my day with the right perspective; hope provides excitement as I  study it from a sociological, theological and literary perspective (a year-long process, I would imagine); hope gives me hope when circumstances look unpromising; hope draws me closer to God who is the ultimate source of lasting hope.

Hope, at its basic level, is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; the feeling that something desired can be had or will happen; or the feeling when we do not know whether something will happen or not, but want it to happen. All of us need hope in one form or another to carry on with our day, especially when life is uncertain, unhappy, or unfathomable. We should never ridicule hope of any kind, but wish for everyone to have reasons to hope. We recognize the devastation the absence of it can have on our existence.

Hope followed by the preposition for and in, I believe, are the underpinnings of our lives. In hoping for something, we find reasons to live. In hoping in something, we find strength to live. They are equal forces that cannot be separated in order for life to take off and have equilibrium, like wings to a bird. In short, the objects of our hope come to define how we live and ultimately who we are.

My wish for me and my loved ones this year is that we will have hope; and not just hope, but hope for and in objects that will shape and sustain us to live intentionally, abundantly, compassionately, and fearlessly.

What is your word for 2020?

No Refugee Admitted in October 2019!

Photography by AT Monaco

For the month of October, 2019, the United States resettled not a single refugee! Of the millions of displaced people in the world, we admitted none? How is that possible? How did we even come to this point? How does an Administration supported by evangelicals succeed in making the nation turn its back on the destitute? Where is the outcry from Christian supporters whose faith should inform them that love, care and justice for the refugee, the destitute, is high on God's agenda? As Christmas approaches, let us not forget that Jesus was born a refugee.

If faith doesn't inform, how about the basic moral code of taking responsibility for one's actions? According to Scott Arbeiter, president of World Relief, this pause in taking in refugees is not only  heartbreaking, it is unjust. “Withdrawing our troops from Syria meant unleashing chaos in the region and forcing even more people to flee their homes. To refuse to open our doors is to abdicate responsibility for a scenario to which we as a nation have contributed." It may behoove us to find out what percentage of people fleeing their homes in recent history has been the result of US policies and intrusion into their homelands..

If faith and morality can't move hearts, how about basic human compassion? Imagine you and your family as refugees, all vetted, holding tightly your precious documents, waiting to board that flight to safety and a future...then to find out that the flight has been canceled due to a change of policy in the United States? You look at the faces of your excited children, your heart breaking at having to take away their laughter yet again. You can't even assure them that it will be a brief delay.  And even if it were to be the case, your security checks would  probably expire by then, and it may be months or years before your number is up again.

If faith, morality and humanity can't inform us of the plight of refugees, what else is left? Are we then a nation without a soul, where only greed and self-interests dictate policy and action?


Deuteronomy 27:19
'Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.' And all the people shall say, 'Amen.' 

Psalm 146:9
The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.  

Prover 31: 8--9
Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. 

Luke 10:25-37
But he, desiring to justify himself, [the expert of the law] said to Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" Jesus told him the story of "The Good Samaritan," followed by the question, "Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?" The expert said said, "The one who showed him mercy." And Jesus said to him, "You go, and do likewise."

The Moon Represents My Heart

My mom and my aunts

I was sorting my cd collection yesterday (well it's actually my parents' which I inherited) and came across cds of Chinese pop music. Listening to them took me back to a different place and time...to my childhood in Singapore where I was surrounded by the remarkable women who have loved me and shaped me. Chinese pop music was always in the background whenever they gathered at my grandmother's, although two of my aunts would probably prefer the Bee Gees to Teresa Teng!

My mother, my grandmother, my four aunts were exceptional women in their own rights; their very different dispositions and their big hearts have contributed to the person I am today. They have left their indelible marks of fierce love, triumph over adversity, generosity, kindness, faithfulness, and determination on the next generation. I didn't have to look far for women to emulate, each of these women has inhabited my orbit since infancy, saturating it with their loving presence, delectable food, endless conversation, and deep affection. When I left Singapore to study in the United States, every one of them was at Changi Airport to see me off, their eyes brimming with tears. I departed carrying with me their last-minute gifts and advice, their hopes and pride in me, and above all their steadfast love. Their sentiments remain with me to this day.

I dedicate this all-time favorite song, The Moon Represents My Heart by Teresa Teng, to my remarkable grandmother, mom, and aunts. They would be tickled pink to know that for her wedding in Chicago, my daughter not only chose to have a tea ceremony but this very song to accompany the festivity. Perhaps their influence has not only molded me but has come to shape the next generation as well!

The Scorecard for Great Leadership

Photography by AT Monaco

I was browsing the  World Economic Forum website when I came across this fascinating leadership scorecard contributed by Lutfey Siddiqi. As the upcoming US presidential election heats up, this scorecard might come in handy as we evaluate the candidates and our current president.

According to Professor Siddiqi,

The first attribute is personal integrity, incorruptibility and sacrifice.
The second is the ability to galvanize support through eloquence, story-telling and charisma.
Third – and arguably the most important factor – is effectiveness or the delivery of results through the length of a marathon, and beyond the sprint of revolutionary rhetoric.

Scoring them on a scale of 1 to 10 in each category, it would be eye-opening to see how our presidential candidates, including the current president, stack up. The first two attributes would be  relatively easier to score with all that is readily available about their personal lives, their past, as well as their speeches and interactions with voters on the campaign trail. The last would require more investigative work. There is plenty of "revolutionary rhetoric" going around from all our candidates, but rhetoric, even the impassioned ones, can hardly translate into effective governance. Experience then, with notable qualifying results, would be an obvious first criteria for evaluating a candidate in the third category.

While I believe that all three attributes are vital, the first to me is the most important, for a rotten tree simply cannot bear good fruit. A leader who lacks personal integrity, out of the corruptness of his heart, can only tear down a nation regardless of his eloquence or the effectiveness of his policies.

How wonderful it would be, come the next election, to elect leaders whose personal integrity, courage and sacrifice are exemplary; whose love for nation comes before personal hubris and gain; whose speeches and actions inspire and encourage, replacing tweets that deride and demoralize; and whose diplomatic, governing experience galvanizes, restores and sustains a nation that has somehow lost its footing since the last presidential election.

Scallion Biscuits

Photography by Lauren Monaco

Discovered this easy recipe for savory biscuits while sorting my old food magazines. I am no longer one to try elaborate recipes, easy recipes with few steps and healthy ingredients are now what capture my attention. Delighted that this scallion biscuit recipe from Bon Appeitite has made its way into my default recipe list! Taste great with soup, salad, or an omelette!

Here's the recipe with some changes. I made mine with less salt and smaller in size.

INGREDIENTS

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted, cooled, divided
4 scallions, thinly sliced
1½ cups sour cream
Hungarian hot paprika (for serving)

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400°.
Whisk flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, and baking soda in a large bowl.
Drizzle in 6 Tbsp. butter and mix lightly with your hands just to distribute butter.
Make a well in center of bowl and add scallions and sour cream.
Mix with a wooden spoon until no dry spots remain and mixture forms a shaggy dough.

Using 2 spoons, drop about 1/4 cup of dough onto a parchment-lined baking sheet, spacing at least 1½" apart, or into a 12" cast-iron skillet, arranging so sides of biscuits are just touching.
Brush tops with remaining 2 Tbsp. butter; sprinkle with paprika.
Bake biscuits until tops and bottoms are golden brown on top and bottom, 12–15 minutes.

Father's Day 2019

Photography by AT Monaco

In memory of my father on this Father's Day, who lived cherishing the intangibles that give value to life:

love of family,
faithfulness to friends,
loyalty to country,
tenacity in the pursuit of learning,
generosity toward education and the arts,
compassion for the downtrodden,
and above all humility before God and man.

Here's the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra performing one of my father favorites, Nimrod from Elgar's Egnima Variations.

Exodus

A great rabbi of a couple of millenia ago once said, "...salvation is from the Jews." Can't agree more!

Because it is the Passover season, the Passover story in particular and the Exodus narrative in general have been much on my mind, The action-packed Exodus narrative of rescue and destruction has attracted interpretations through the ages, from a wide spectrum of worldviews, from Jewish to Christian to secular. Within its two interconnected themes of redemption and judgement, there are also myriad interpretations, some read with lenses of nationalism, some of progress, others of humanism, etc.

And for some, the Exodus narrative (with its climatic Passover event), cannot be fully understood without focusing on its main protagonist, YHWH. It was his act of supreme mercy towards the downtrodden and abhorrence  of oppression that the Israelites were rescued out of the severe bondage of Egyptian slavery. From there, a course is set for this particular people to be the bearer of God’s redemptive love to all peoples of all nations.

In reading any narrative, much can be gleaned from minor characters and subplots, but the overarching thrust of the story is lost when the protagonist is ignored or cut out altogether.

In our willingness to embrace the many different interpretations of the Exodus story, compelling and necessary as I have found some to be, I wonder how much richer these interpretations could be and what deeper meanings could be additionally gleaned if the protagonist were rightfully made central in this pivotal narrative of all times?

I encourage each of us to dive into this fascinating Exodus narrative during the Passover season, allowing YHWH to take and guide us through his out-of-this-world story!

21 Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father.
22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews.
23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.
24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth."
25 The woman said to him, "I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things."
26 Jesus said to her, "I who speak to you am he." 

John 4:.21-26

Crash Rich Asians -- Delightful But Misleading

The movie "Crazy Rich Asians" is a delightful rom com. I would like to start by congratulating legendary star Michelle Yeoh and  newbie Henry Golding for their brilliant performances. Yeoh beautifully accomplished the difficult task of making the audience sympathetic to Eleanor's station in old money Singapore. Despite the uproar over casting Golding as Nick because of his biracial ethnicity, I think he's a perfect choice. I've a cousin who's Peranakan Chinese who looks rather like Nick. In the hawker-centre scene, Golding seamlessly pulled off ordering an array of delectable foods in different dialects and Malay, which would have been difficult for an American-Chinese actor to accomplish.

For a film that is set in Singapore, it however lacks a certain sensibility to what Singapore is all about. Beginning the movie with the Napoleon quote "Let China sleep, for when she wakes, she will wake the world" is disconcerting. What, I ask, does that have to do with Singapore or the storyline? The quote is immediately followed by the scene of the Young family buying up a London hotel. Aren't the Youngs Singaporeans and not Chinese from China?

While the majority of Singaporeans are of Chinese descent, those whose ancestors came from China generations ago have little affinity to China. Growing up on the cusp of Singapore's independence, I was taught that we're first of all Singaporeans, and our ties to our respective ethnicities secondary. The majority of us went to English stream schools, studying Mandarin as our second language. We prefer curry puffs to dumplings. Singaporean Chinese happily adopt Western and Malay cultures while still holding on to aspects of Chinese traditions, being unabashedly proud of that heritage. China is not our motherland, nor Chinese our mother tongue. We're taught from young that we may be hua ren but we are definitely not zhong guo ren!
     
I would also differ with Peik Lin's summation of the wealth in Singapore. It was not mostly brought over from China. The wealthy in Singapore made their fortunes by settling in a country with a stable, lawful governance to foster their expansive enterprises.

Additionally, I am baffled by the director's decision not to highlight Singapore's ethnic diversity. The Young family's circle of friends could have been more diverse. My family certainly have good friends and even family members from different ethnic groups. I would think that in Nick's generation, diversity would play an even bigger role. At the very least, they could have cast wealthy Malays, Indians, Eurasians and internationals at the grandmother's soirée and the wedding. What a missed opportunity to bring in even richer, equally gorgeous fashions, especially the sarong kebaya to the haute couture-packed festivities.

I end with a quote from the Prime Minister of Singapore, Lee Hsien Loong, before his trip to China in April, 2018: "...Chinese tourists visit Singapore precisely because we are not another Chinese city. They find Singapore a fascinating multiracial and multi-religious country with different cultures and ways of life. Different ethnic groups and religious faiths co-exist side by side, harmoniously. We hope that when Chinese tourists visit us, they can see and appreciate how Singapore is unique, and how our multi-racial national identity influences our place in the world and relations with other countries."

Parapets!

Cemetery in Gloucester by Edward Hopper

When you build a new house, you shall make a parapet for your roof, that you may not bring the guilt of blood upon your house, if anyone should fall from it.

 Deuteronomy 22:8

I don't know about you, but I am tired of hearing our government officials say they are offering their prayers and support after each mass shooting! I am not going to doubt the sincerity of their prayers, but I think they should keep their prayers private and work on making parapets!  They have the power to bring about stricter gun legislation to protect the country. But instead, they utter overarching sentiments about their prayers and "forever" support, sermonize about evil and "hearts without God". We don't need our government to philosophize about the origin of evil or look into the hearts of men, or even pray for us, but to first of all govern and govern with integrity and not act like demagogues and pander to powerful lobbyists. We need them to make and enforce laws to keep us safe, lest we be harmed (killed) by their cowardly inaction or desperate hold to power.

For the guilt of blood are upon those who fail to make parapets!

Mother's Day 2018

My daughters flew in from Chicago and New York respectively to celebrate Mother's Day a couple of weekends early. Just as well, as it would have been too hot in Dallas this weekend to serve their lovingly curated feast in our library with every window opened to let in the delightful afternoon breeze. 

Every treat was homemade, from the Victoria sponge cake to the smoked salmon sandwiches. Along with the scrumptious scones and sandwiches, there were Singaporean delights like kueh dada and kueh lapis, served in the yellow enamel tiffin carrier that my mother handed down to me.

My mother would have enjoyed this elaborate afternoon tea and been tickled pink at the finesse of her granddaughters' lavish spread. She would have rated it high above our regular afternoon tea spots like the Tanglin Club and the Goodwood Hotel in Singapore!

I am grateful on this Mother's Day for my mother and my daughters, for their undying love, influence, guidance and care, and for the beauty and joy they bring into my life!

Happy Mother's Day!

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Concrete Concept of Justice

"I can remember one of my teachers, Abraham Joshua Heschel, telling us that Plato and Aristotle would have laughed at the prophet Isaiah.  How petty to be concerned about one widow being cheated, one poor man starving.  Worry instead about the idea of Justice, the definition of equality, they would have told him.  But the reader of the Bible is told that the abstract concept of Justice is meaningless unless it is translated into the lives of every citizen."  Harold Kushner, To Life

There seems to be many battle cries these days for justice, for equality.  The phenomenon is to be applauded as it awakens us to the disparity, desperateness and brokenness of our world.  It is easy to get caught up with the big ideas of justice and equality and their grand (and sometimes subversive) rhetoric.  But such ideas are at best abstract and the rhetoric needlessly grandiose unless we draw from them the desire to affect indidual lives, to help in concrete ways.  Otherwise, we are merely caught up with phenomena of the day, feeling self-righteous and becoming contemptuous of others who are not as caught up with the wave.

[The LORD your God] executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. - Deuteronomy 20:18

Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. - Isaiah 1:16-17

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. - James1.27

Consider What You Sow

Figures in a Dutch Street by Willem Koekkoek, 

Sow a thought, and you reap an act;

Sow an act, and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit, and you reap a character;

Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.

Samuel Smiles (1812-1904)

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 

Galatians 6:7

God Moves in a Mysterious Way

Van Gogh, Almond Blossom

1. 
   
2. I was reminded of William Cowper's (1731-1800) beautiful hymn this morning and thought I'd share it with you.  Cowper suffered from deep depression for most of his life; his heartfelt hymns and poems reflect a heart that held on to God's mercies, oftentimes in the midst of despair.  His works bring solace as they help lift my eyes above my circumstances to rest on a gracious God and trust in his loving, wonderful mysterious way.
3. 
   
4. God moves in a mysterious way
   His wonders to perform;
   He plants His footsteps in the sea
   And rides upon the storm.
5. Deep in unfathomable mines
   Of never failing skill
   He treasures up His bright designs
   And works His sov’reign will.
6. Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
   The clouds ye so much dread
   Are big with mercy and shall break
   In blessings on your head.
7. Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
   But trust Him for His grace;
   Behind a frowning providence
   He hides a smiling face.
8. His purposes will ripen fast,
   Unfolding every hour;
   The bud may have a bitter taste,
   But sweet will be the flow’r.
9. Blind unbelief is sure to err
   And scan His work in vain;
   God is His own interpreter,
   And He will make it plain.

Lamentations 3:19-26
Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind,and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,“therefore I will hope in him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for him,to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietlyfor the salvation of the LORD.

What does the LORD require of you?

'Josephine and Mercie' by Edmund Charles Tarbell

Micah 6:8  

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?  

  This is one of my favorite Scripture verses.  I even painted the verse on chairs at my home.  As I reflected on it the past few days, it crossed my mind that this relatively short verse could sum up how I should seek to live each day.

There are three basic things listed, easy for my mind to grab hold of as I go about my day-
1. To do justice/justly
2. To love mercy/kindness
3. To walk humbly with my God

As I go about the day doing my work - interacting with people in person, over the phone, online; and even thinking to myself...I  can easily remind myself of these three requirements which to me consist of, at the very least, doing all things with integrity, standing up against injustice; showing kindness and mercy, with patience and gentleness; and knowing my status before my God (not some impersonal God out there but my God, the God who is personal, who created and redeemed me, who knows and loves me, and who is with me wherever I go).

It has helped me to have these three requirements in my head throughout the day.  My naturally impatient, self-centered self with a tendency towards rudeness would now pause and think if I am showing kindness in how I speak to the person across from me or on the phone (I'm especially guilty of rudeness here), or if I am true to my word, or if I am being cowardly and selfish by not doing my part in securing hope for the oppressed (not necessarily always on a grand scale but equally crucial in everyday encounters like speaking up for the widow who is being bullied).

But more importantly, the verse reminds me to start each day cognizant of my status before my God, humbly obeying Him in everything and every way as His Spirit leads, not for fear of punishment by some distant oppressive God, but out of love of a personal God who loves me first and is ever present with me.  To me, it is like a child holding on tightly to her father with adoration and respect as he leads her with loving authority and impeccable wisdom.

I have failed and will continue to fail as I go about my day, stumbling as I act out in anger or without integrity, or  when I treat God and man with contempt, seeking to do things my way.  But my God's love is steadfast, He does not give up easily and is gracious to let me see my erring ways,then pulls me back up and set me once again on the journey with Him for another mile, for another day.

Before I end this post, I would like to point out that other than the use of the personal possessive pronoun "your" before "God," the name of God used in this verse "YHWH," translated "I AM WHO I AM" or "I AM" ("the LORD" in English Bibles) was first revealed to the Israelites during the Exodus.  God told Moses to tell the people before they set out that it's "I AM" who had  sent him to lead them out of Egypt (Exodus 3:14).  Up to this point, God's chosen people, including the Patriarchs, knew God only by titles.  YHWH is the first personal proper name that God revealed of Himself. It is this YHWH, this personal God who redeemed His people from the bondage of the Egyptians and who was with them every step of the way to the promised land.  It is YHWH (the LORD) who saved His people and overthrew all who opposed Him.

It is the same God, revealed now in the fullness of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that is leading me to live my days to do justice, to love mercy and to live humbly before my God.

Death Be Not Proud

Painting by Kenneth Rowntree

My mom died this day four years ago.  I miss her with all my heart.  Absent from me, but joyfully present with her God!

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

John Donne

1 Corinthians 15:25-26

For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death. 

The Inheritance of Loss

Illustration by Lauren Monaco

This way of leaving your family for work had condemned them over several generations to have their hearts always in other places, their minds thinking about people elsewhere; they could never be in a single existence at one time. How wonderful it was going to be to have things otherwise. 

Kiran Desai, The Inheritance of Loss

Kiran Desai describes movingly the dilemma of those of us who have traveled far from home for education or employment, leaving behind our loved ones and the way of life, forging a new life but always missing the old.

I am more fortunate than Desai's characters who went far from their hometowns in India to England and the US but found it hard to assimulate into their new societies and sadly also did not succeed in bettering themselves or their circumstances.  Jemubhai (the Judge) became a warped, harsh man as a result of his years at Cambridge; Biju slaved in greasy and often sleazy kitchens in New York, to have his savings and belongings down to to his pants robbed on his return to Kalimpong to be reunited with his father.  In contrast, right from the get-go, I was fortunate to adjust seemingly seamlessly to American society.  As a university student, I adapted well and was included and embraced by my fellow American college mates.  Upon graduation, I proceeded to live the "American Dream."  But through it all, until the deaths of my parents, my heart and mind were always here and also there. I would constantly be thinking about my grandparents, my parents -- missing them, worrying about them.  Despite the distance that separated us, I managed to be embroiled in their lives, tackling happy circumstances and complications from afar, and always feeling inadequate and torn.

And in spite of how well I have adjusted to American life, there is always a yearning for things from "home" and of the way of life there (many aspects are far from ideal and from which I would not want to be subjected again).  And even though my closest ties are now severed by death, a part of me will always be tied to the land of my birth -- to its culture, to its landscape, and to its people.  Living the American life in the present yet subjugated to the memory of the people and the life back home.

In a sense, everyone feels the same way when she leaves family and hometown to study or work in another city, even in her home country with all its familiarity.  The dilemma is probably more painful and the parting more poignant when we have to cross oceans and cultures.

Sometimes the ache for loved ones and "home" is so acute that you wonder if it's worth the costs. But that is the way of life for many of us living in the present and those in generations past and in generations to come.  How wonderful indeed it would be "to have things otherwise" -- to finally be home and ever be with the ones you love and never ever having to say goodbye again.

But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. 

2 Peter 13-14

These Inward Trials

Photography by A. Monaco

These Inward Trials

John Newton

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.

‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“‘Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

The Kingdom

Pritzker Pavillion, Millenium Park
Photography by A. Monaco

It has been a trying few months battling health issues and a very ugly United Healthcare.

But there was blissful respite this evening as I sat on the lawn of Chicago's Millenium Park, enjoying the last concert of the summer, Elgar's epic oratorio, The Kingdom.  The weather was perfect with a  soft cool breeze drifting through the park as people set down their picnic blankets, chairs, and folding tables under the cloudless blue sky, pulling from their baskets and bags varied foods and drinks, from the sophisticated to the mundane. We had our usual faire of Chicago deep dish pizza, packed with calories and memories of previous happy jaunts to the park during other concert seasons.

The concert soon began - the Grant Park Orchestra and Chorus steering me away from the thick rich pizza with its sublime performance of the prelude.  Dusk stealthily claimed the skyline - the fading light bringing with it a happy calm and contentment, ironic for a city setting packed with hundreds of people.  And as night set in and lights lit up the iconic buildings, accompanied by Elgar's masterful choral composition, I leaned my head on my daughter's shoulder and treasured that moment as I did numerous others when I gathered with family and friends during these charmed summer evening concerts at Millennium Park.

Here is a performance of The Kingdom with Sir Andrew Davis conducting the BBC Symphony Orchestra and Chorus.

In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. He presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. And while staying with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, “you heard from me; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.” So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” And when he had said these things, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.” (‭Acts‬ ‭1‬:‭1-11‬)