Happy Mother's Day

Illustration by Lauren Monaco

To Mom, with love

I learned a lot about life from my mother, and inherited many of her traits.  But one thing that I've not acquired is my mother's gift of conversation.  I come from a family of introverts, except for Mom.  Growing up, we relied on Mom to spice up our dinner conversations, especially when we had company (which was frequent as my parents were exceedingly hospitable people).  Mom was able to keep any conversation going from world events to knitting.  Part of it is she's a woman of strong opinions but she's also one who knew how to ask questions.

But what is most unique about her conversational style is her ease of weaving  quirky Chinese proverbial sayings into her everyday conversations.  They add such vividness and color.  She said she acquired these sayings from her mother and from her  studying of  Chinese proverbs.  None of my aunts throw proverbial sayings into their conversations, so I tend to think this is something uniquely mom.  The pictures created in one's mind from her sayings are quite arresting which made her conversations quite unforgettable.  For example, if she's chiding us for being ignorant, she would say, "You are like a frog at the bottom of a well, never having seen much of the heavens or the sun!"  That certainly had a way of putting us in our place!  Now when I overhear arrogant, ignorant talk, the person is sometimes reduced in my mind to a frog in a well, croaking in the darkness of his limited circumference of a well.

I am not about to weave quirky Chinese proverbs into my everyday conversations any time soon, as I think only Mom can do it well in her unique casual kind of way.  I can however present a sampling of the proverbial sayings she's fond of using.   It will not have the same flavor and richness, and I'll probably do a tortured job with the translation.  Some of these sayings are quite pedestrian and others quite elegant.  Some are easily interpreted while others require some deciphering.

Here they are...

Another version of the frog in a well:
As the summer insect cannot speak of ice, the frog at the bottom of a well should not talk of the heavens.

Trying to drive a dumb man to speak (indicating futile effort)

Those who reject iron cannot make steel

Water at at distance cannot save a fire which is near; a relative afar off is not equal to a neighbor at hand.

Adding flowers to embroidery (presents to the rich)

Sending coal in a snowstorm (timely assistance)

A workman who wishes to do his work well must first sharpen his tools

Not willing to pull out a single hair (stinginess)

A tiger entering a cave, looking in front but disregarding the rear (recklessness)

Distant waters cannot quench present thirst

Fresh flowers stuck on a donkey's head

A man with hare's head and snake's eyes (a devious person)

To nourish what is small at the expense of what is great.

Seven hands, eight feet (clumsiness)

Words as myriad as dog's hair

Taking advantage of a fire to stage a robbery

I end now with my favorite of her sayings:

Before my couch the moonbeams bright
Are like the frost pure and white;
I raise my eyes and see the moon,
I drop them and I think of Home 

I raise my eyes, Mom, and I see the moon.  I drop my eyes, Mom, and I think of you!  Missing you this Mother's Day.